Monday, September 21, 2009

Flu-cinations and boredom

I've got the flu. Not the swine flu, thank goodness, but the normal flu, the one I take a shot to avoid every year. Only nobody offers a shot for the flu in September because people don't usually GET the flu in September.

So here I sit, on bedrest through tomorrow, bored out of my brain, insanely tired but not sleepy. Having the flu isn't something I recall dealing with since I was a kid, before the flu shot was available. And I'm bored--did I mention that already? I've done everything I can think of doing from my bed. I've googled all sorts of stuff I've wondered about and thought of more stuff to google than ever before. I've watched more tv than I ever dreamed possible, and most of it was inane, insane crap! I've tried to wash clothes and keep up with stuff around the house, but it's practically impossible when you're dizzy and people are following you around, spraying the hallway with Lysol.

Well, here are some of the things I've learned since having the flu.

First, I never knew anyone could be as self-absorbed at an adult age as the women on The Real Housewives of Atlanta. I only watched five minutes of it before I began to feel nauseous (now I honestly don't know if it was the show or the flu that caused that). Either way, it's quite impressive that Bravo was able to find not just one but five or six adult women in one city who are so self-centered and ridiculous. I guess really it's more a sad commentary on our times, but in a weird way I have to give props to Bravo. Somebody had serious self-confidence to even propose such a show.

Next, I didn't realize so many people wrote weird sex stories about pretend characters from TV shows. All of my googling has led me to learn about all sorts of story sites regarding different shows, one of my favorites being Criminal Intent. Being curious, of course, and in my flu-cination state, I had to read a few. That got me wondering about what people really think about the characters. I mean, who REALLY believes that if Goren and Eames were real people they would be doing it? Like really? That she's looking at his butt and he's looking at...well, you get the point. It makes me wonder if I've been asleep all these years, because the only thing I've ever seen Goren salivate over is the idea of interrogation. And I have to believe that Eames would not make it through one date without slapping him. But again, if it's fiction, I guess anything goes.

Here's another thing I've learned. My dog sleeps a lot. Like, maybe eighteen hours a day. She's only two years old, for God's sake. Is that normal? I guess I should google that.

Okay, one more. How is it possible to have sixty some odd channels on your television and not one single thing is on that you can bear to watch? Even my favorites are getting on my nerves. If I have to see that Criminal Minds episode with the couple on death row one more time, I'm going to hurl from something other than this flu!!!

Hopefully I'll be back to work in another day or so. Anything that gets me away from this prison is worth it! Don't get me wrong--I'm thankful the doctor caught it quickly, that I haven't infected people, that I'm on tamiflu and it's a relatively benign illness at this point, and that I'm well off enough to have a comfy bed, a tv to watch, my dog and the fam to keep me company, and internet access.

Oh look...another episode of Criminal Minds...and it's not the couple on death row...


  1. I'm reading... And you are funny.

  2. Okay, seriously!!!!! You don't like The Real Housewives of Atlanta!!! I just stumbled onto this show one day when they were showing them all day long. I got sooo hooked. I still can't figure out why I like it so much, but I can't wait for the next episode!!! I'm all about the drama and this show is packed with drama!!! I think I love to hate them!!! :) This show is my guilty pleasure - you know the show that you watch when no one is looking because you don't want to be caught watching it. hehehehe