When It Hits Hard

Ugh.

I was sick all last week and basically did very little.  Now it's Monday evening and I'm facing a ton of work and it feels like it's all due by tomorrow morning.

Tonight is Halloween.  I felt like crap earlier, but had planned to take my kid out trick ortreating (yes, I have two but one's too old).  Anyway, I shower, change, get ready to take her, and boom! she hasn't done anything she was supposed to do.  It's ten til six and she's done no studying and no chores.  She's still in her school clothes.  For what seems like every day for the last two weeks I've been after both kids to be more responsible.  And I burst into tears, telling her she'd blown it—there was no way we'd make Halloween now.  Trick or treat here ends at 8 p.m.  Even I can do math.  And she can too—she's tested two grades ahead of the 7th grade math class she's in.

She sighed and said guiltily, "You're right.  I won't go this year."

And I wanted to scream, "What about ME?  What about the costume I bought you that was beautiful?  What about the fact that this is the last year you're allowed to trick or treat in this city?  Did you think about any of THAT?"  But I was crying too much.

So I'm spending Halloween night crying, lying in my bed, feeling sick and staring at all my work that I have about fifteen hours to complete.  And sleep.

Right now I want to bury myself somewhere and never come out.