I'm known around my own house for being an eternally pitiful martyr. Everyone comes before I do. If I have five bucks left in my pocket, it will go for something for the kids or the dog before me. I can be running around with holes in my shoes but that last five bucks will buy my daughter a scarf or my son a hot chocolate. My husband gets frustrated with me--so much so, that two years ago he bought me an ipod because I never spend money on myself. I was thrilled, of course, but it didn't change my ways. For Mother's Day, he often buys my presents from the drug store. He'll buy things like Neutrogena body wash or Pantene shampoo, because I won't spend the money on those small pleasures for myself, unless I get a super excellent deal somehow. I get regular scoldings from my sweet husband and my mother, and even my kids have started to notice and make comments about how I "deserve" certain things. But I'm always worried about making sure everyone else has what they need, which often means I go without.
For the last year and a half, I have wanted some boots. I have priced probably four hundred pairs of boots; compared leather to suede to manmade materials; figured out shipping prices and what would go with which outfits and the best colors for the majority of clothing I wear. I have turned boot shopping into a serious intellectual exercise. But last week was the final straw. It was so cold outside that I couldn't take my class out to play for most of the week. We had highs of 30 degrees. Luckily I had invested in a wool coat last year but my feet--along with my head and neck--were freezing, due to no boots, no scarf, and no hat. Even I had to face the reality that at my age it was time to make some concessions. I HAD to buy some boots.
And yesterday, I did. A beautiful pair of casual tan short boots, lined with fleece, nice and cozy and just what I need. Even better, they were originally sixty-five dollars. I paid twenty.
Feeling like a rock star, I continued on to another store to try on some clothing. I wear a larger size so I have to shop in specialty stores. I intended to buy some warmer tops, which I certainly need, and was heading toward the dressing room when the shoe display caught my eye. Chocolate brown skechers were on the shelf, and my heart skipped three beats.
Now, you have to understand that I have wanted a pair of Skechers for three years. It's hard to find them in a wider size, much less a price I can afford, especially with us down to one income currently. I also adore chocolate brown as a color. So when I saw the Skechers, I heard them calling my name and I was compelled, like children following the Pied Piper of Hamlin, to follow.
Skechers in chocolate brown, check. Skechers in MY size, check. Skechers on SALE, check! My pulse was racing. I had a coupon for fifteen dollars off, bringing the price down to an I-can't-possibly-turn-this-down twenty dollars. Ten minutes later I had no sweater but was the proud owner of a brand new pair of beautiful chocolate brown skechers.
Damn, it felt good to indulge myself. And it felt good to have new, comfortable, stylish shoes!
So my only question now is, which pair do I wear tomorrow?