The irony of this post is that I had begun to write one a day or two ago that went on and on about how I felt better. And for the most part I did. I wasn't as achey or sore, and I think I even went out and did some things that needed to be done.
Looking back, I somehow got off my sleep schedule somewhere around Wednesday night. I stayed up far too late--three a.m. I think--and got up around eight to move to my bed (I had been sleeping on the couch). I slept a lot yesterday, and then I ran out of my pain meds. So last night was a bundle of messed up torture. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't get comfortable. My entire right side was clenched and painful.
I'm back on all my medications now but it's going to take some time to recover from that, I'm sure. If you were to saw my body in half, I could function well with my left side. Maybe.
It's funny because I'm learning how so many things are linked together with this illness. Being off of the pain medication the doctor had prescribed let me know exactly how well it IS working. I may still be in pain right now, but it's much less than I was in this morning before I took my medication. There are several reasons this medication is not the one I would personally choose. It's expensive and has several side effects, including hallucinations for people who are on antidepressants, like I am. And I got to experience the joy of a five foot floating feather when I first started it. The hallucination only lasted for a few seconds and I was fully aware that it was not real. I'm hoping not to face that again though, because it's just a bit unsettling.
I was supposed to go to yoga today and there's no way I can do that. Lesson number two: grab life by the balls when you can. Yesterday was my other yoga option and I should have gone for it, but I didn't. I thought I would try to wait for today, because my mom and I were going to go on Fridays together. I forgot she wasn't going to be able to make it today though. So when I can, I should make the most of the lower-pain days and times.
I have an appointment with pain management on Monday. Several people have told me that I need to rank my pain for different days and different times of day. Mornings are almost always the worst, with soreness, tenderness, and achiness. The rest of the day varies. Some days I ache all over, others it's more concentrated in one particular area, and days when I'm not aching, I seem to be exhausted all day. I was actually able to cook dinner for my family on Monday or Wednesday, and I ran errands Wednesday night with my daughter and my mother.
I am hopeful that tomorrow will be a better day than today. We can always go up.
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